Black Magic Woman

so sometimes you may be minding your own business knowing you did the work of unpacking your childhood and the many ways you wanted to be accepted

the ways you wanted to rebuke any conflict by doing what others expect, sometimes to your own detriment

and even after many moons, therapy sessions, inspirational memes and reminders, your still wonder what will they think?!

it showed up for me this week after the passing of Kat

i resisted the urge to share anything or post via my personal social media for many reasons

1 i’ve been trying not to be on social media

2 i only really use it for professional things

but this week i didn’t want to be seen as a band wagoner ( is that a thing)

despite having my own connections and interactions etc i wondered what will they think

i am not a family member

i’m not a close friend or confidant

i am not in her sister circle

i a just a member of a small yet deep creative community

as i work this out for myself in real time all i can say is IT IS FACT that Kat greatly impacted all of us be it through her curations, etc

the loss is greatly felt.

and i felt and am feeling it in my own way

i cannot worry about how others may percieve the way i express or share or don’t share ( me talking myself through the various emotions )

i had my own interactions, chats, moments and memories of and with Kat.

i didn’t know about Fela until I met Kat.

my introverted highly sensitive empath neurodivergent, intutiive self actually admired this magical black woman

she was a force i hadn’t seen or encountered before (being from a small country town where being humble and kind (people pleasing) is a way of life.

supreme sag energy was at play along with a comfort, care and deep love for her culture and community

some words i shared are below. just a stream. not trying to be profound or poetic. but just some words of thanks.

as a givHER and mother to a community I hope she enjoyed many selfish moments.

this post is all over the place. and so am I. and that’s fine.

Kat

thank you for being an inspiration, a Black woman creative rooted in all things Black, funky, fly and just good.

thank you for curating spaces of joy and freedom.

thank you for showing the world what Black excellence, community and resilience looks like

and thank you for seeing me where I didn’t see myself!thank you for inviting me to speak to your class. I’m sorry I declined due to my own confidence issues!

and thank you for that talk in your car that night after our meeting with Tamara. you had this way of knowing; of speaking to one’s soul. It’s a deep intutiveness only a few of us carry.

you lived and lived again.

i know somewhere in the spirtual life you are still designing joyful Black ass spaces, tellin’ bammas to gather their crew, fan waving’ and twirling’ through the cosmos.

Love you and I’m thankful to have shared many spaces with you.

love, comfort and continued healing to your family and close friends

Seshat